Checking out early

Living in the here and now, and not checking out until I actually move on. This has become quite a challenge for me. The second I knew I was going to leave Basel, I started preparing, steeling myself against the fear and the hurt of saying goodbye to a people, a church, a city, that have become so dear to me. While my halfway psychologically-educated mind understands that this is a classic form of self-protective coping mechanism, my heart isn't quite ready to come up with the emotional and intentional energy it requires to overcome these almost instinctive coping strategies. Except that in the midst of all this steeling, it is slowly dawning on me the this "checking out" process comes at a huge prize - the prize of not only alienating myself from my people, but also from God and the things He still has for me here.

James 4:13-15: Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

As much as I am looking forward to my future, it is in God's hands, and I really don't have any idea what it is going to look like. I am not even of much relevance in the here and now, but the little relevance I have in my small universe made up of friends, family, colleagues and the people I encounter in daily life I desire to use for God's glory. If the Lord's will still has me in Basel for this moment in time, then that's really all I need to know. It is my responsibilty to be fully here, and invest any energy I have in engaging with the things that are in my life today.

Hebrews 3:12-14: See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.

Here's the danger of "checking out early". We focus our attention on what's ahead, on the "what if's" and "could be's" of a life we always imagine to be better, happier, more exciting, and somehow more relevant than today's. We let those thoughts of a future that isn't even ours yet distract us from where God needs us right now, and leave the doors wide open for Satan to step in. "Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness". It seems so easy to justify those litte sins of neglect, or ignorance, or those missed opportunities to share the gospel or encourage a brother or sister, with the prospect of a life in a place where the consequences of those sins won't affect us anymore. At least that's what we think. Except that sin, and its consequences, are not restricted by physical distance.

Philippians 4:9: Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Paul doesn't say: "Put it into practice at your next assignment, or at the next place you go to." He doesn't say: "Wait and learn more before you can pass on anything of what you've already learned."

In the same way, when Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, part of the Lord's prayer specifically says: "Give us today our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11) - asking the Father to provide for our needs today, not yesterday, or tomorrow.

This is not about a simple "Carpe Diem" attitude. It's about the instinctive measures of self-protection that I see rise up in me, and recognizing that they are opposing the God-honoring attitude that I desire to have.

Thoughts?